Bobby Burns Bedtime Stories

The Real Dark Lord

2006-08-10T21:20:00.000+10:00

OK OK so you tube is Soooo amazing I'm relenting and posting stuff, just because some of what glimmers IS gold...check it out (for the dummies like the rest of the links on the site just click the highlighted / underlined shite*smacks forehead*)

Headshrinking Question of the moment

2006-07-16T13:45:00.000+10:00

How am I not myself?

(Post answers, I'll reply to the considered ones - alBi)

Calender of Events

2006-06-14T11:41:00.000+10:00

BLACK ROCK STAKES 24 June

Whim Creek - Port Hedland
Don your running shoes or come out and support the
teams as they push a wheelbarrow 120 kilometres in
grand Pilbara tradition. A family evening will be held in
Wedge Street to cheer the runners over the finish line.
(Come on - there's only 11 kg of ore in the wheelbarrow alBi)

Are you shining your corner of the world?

2006-06-08T11:50:00.000+10:00

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
(Marianne Williamson)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow...

2006-05-25T19:51:00.000+10:00

Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

(The sign on the building reads 'The Beer Store', for those of you who have trouble reading - see my last post, alBi)

Bad Eyes?

2006-05-25T13:40:00.000+10:00

If you cant read the graphic try squinting, if you can...do us all a favour and sort yourself out!

New Rule:

2006-05-05T16:00:00.000+10:00

There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, Water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt...That's your flavored water.
(Thanks Denee, alBi)

Pimp My Snack

2006-05-03T10:58:00.000+10:00

Oh Yeah! I got a honey dipped biscuit in here for you too kitten...aint you so sweeeeet, now tell me baby...who's your daddy? Let me here it now.

The stretch mars pretty much sums it up

(this is just so wrong on so many levels - alBi)

News Update

2006-04-06T17:01:00.000+10:00

Well in keeping with the change in seasons and my woeful blogging, I have decided to perform my penance by taking the long way back to Sydney from Brisbane and spend the next 4+ months in Perth. I'll be doing some work for BHP Billiton and hopefully seeing a bit of the countryside in the process...Stay tuned kiddo's - All is as it should be (alBi)

Therefore...

2006-03-06T21:32:00.000+11:00

You must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you. -- Don Juan as quoted by Carlos Casteneda

2006-02-10T15:12:00.000+11:00

The Best Toy on the Shelf this Christmas

2006-02-06T15:28:00.000+11:00

I'm Baaaaaaack - sorry was on hols and stuff for a while... protesting seems to be the thing at the moment, so here's a relevant happy snap I think sums it up nicely.

My Christmas wish - Practice the Art of Life

2005-12-22T12:50:00.000+11:00

The aim of art, the aim of a life can only be to increase the sum of freedom and responsibility to be found in every man and in the world. It cannot, under any circumstances, be to reduce or suppress that freedom, even temporarily. No great work has ever been based on hatred and contempt. On the contrary, there is not a single true work of art that has not in the end added to the inner freedom of each person who has known and loved it...Albert Camus

(Merry Christmas Everyone - alBi)

A Widdle Story

2005-12-20T16:22:00.000+11:00

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?" The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and says, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft, fuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?" The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers ...

" I don't weally fink my pet pyfon gives a phuk"

News Flash

2005-12-06T22:50:00.000+11:00

alBi has not really been slack - just working his skinny ass off in Sunny Brisbane (it is starting to wear thin) and will remain so until the end of Feb. Stay tuned kiddo's...PS if you know of anyone seeking a world class housemate in Brisssy let me know...(alBi :-)

Happy...

2005-11-30T23:40:00.000+11:00

Me :-)

Thought For the Day

2005-11-27T22:19:00.000+11:00

Forgiveness is letting go of all hope of a better past. -- Annie Lamont

Peesel

2005-11-21T20:58:00.000+11:00

Because you're an artist, you're in a public space and you're up on stage: Show time.
Dipped in a brightly colored porcelain coated with thermodynamic finish. The coating reacts to changes in temperature changing from opaque to transparent and revealing the porcelain color beneath. A cold water flush restores the canvas. (Seriously Cool site - alBi)

Truism for the Day...

2005-11-21T16:29:00.000+11:00

The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
-- Sophocles (Yes it was a BIG weekend batman - alBi)

What you didn't know about the smurfs...

2005-11-15T14:13:00.000+11:00

Poor smurfette She's caught up in the middle of a reverse gilligans island but surrounded by queers. That's what she gets for being a communist. (Thanks Chooky - alBi)

Batman and Robin ...

2005-11-14T20:54:00.000+11:00

...are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend.
"Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small
and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Batman?"
Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:
" Robin, you fu*king idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

(Thanks Gareth - alBi)

Why you shouldn't buy CD's anymore...

2005-11-11T14:43:00.000+11:00

I may be old school - I like CD's and LP's, hey I even think the Sony brand is cool, but the fact that SONY BMG has resorted to piracy to combat piracy is insane. My CD/DVD player f***d up after I played a Ben Harper CD I'd bought - so while trying to find a solution I found the aforelinked information...the info on Dr. Mark's site is as comprehensive as it is scary...Take action kiddo's - alBi

Why you should never drink pond water in Mexico

2005-11-11T13:02:00.000+11:00

I want a magic camera...(I want to know- if you're off your chops do the photo's look normal?..alBi)

2005-11-10T15:10:00.000+11:00

Giddyup!

A man goes to the zoo.

2005-11-09T23:07:00.000+11:00

When he gets there, there was only a dog.

It was a shitzu :-) (Thanks Denee)

"...Therefore,

2005-11-09T11:30:00.000+11:00

since the world has still
Much good, but much less good than ill,
And while the sun and moon endure
Luck’s a chance, but trouble’s sure,
I’d face it as a wise man would,
And train for ill and not for good.
’Tis true, the stuff I bring for sale
Is not so brisk a brew as ale:
Out of a stem that scored the hand
I wrung it in a weary land.
But take it: if the smack is sour,
The better for the embittered hour;
It should do good to heart and head
When your soul is in my soul’s stead;
And I will friend you, if I may,
In the dark and cloudy day...”
-A. E. Housman 1896 (A Shropshire Lad)

Thought for the day

2005-11-03T14:01:00.000+11:00

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. -- English Proverb (inspired by that last pic - alBi)

2005-11-03T13:54:00.000+11:00

This man Lyrical is a genius go check him out (@Flickr - alBi)

I'm Feeling

2005-10-28T16:13:00.000+10:00

Slicker than the devil in velvet pants. (work this one into a conversation this weekend...mb with the Iguana's alBi)

The Iguana question

2005-10-28T15:17:00.000+10:00

-"The way an iguana bobs its head can tell a lot about what it's trying to say. Generally, the head bobbing motion is a way iguanas let everyone and everything around them know that they are in charge and in a way, tells them that this is its territory and not theirs. Males usually bob more than females, especially after they have become sexually mature. Many females bob their heads as well, but usually not as often or as distintively as males. A slow, up and down bobbing usually means that it is just letting you know that it knows you are there and it wants you to know that it's there. This slow bobbing is very normal and common for male iguanas and should be expected. A faster motion indicates that it may be agitated and could be a sign of aggression. Another form of head bobbing is a rapid side to side motion, commonly called the shudder bob, that is usually a pretty good sign that it doesn't want to be messed with. If the bobbing motion is very fast, moving side to side and up and down, this is usually a clear sign that the iguana is extremely irritated. With larger iguanas, especially males, it's important to use extreme caution when it displays this kind of head bobbing."(Green Iguana Society, 2005) (I'm wondering if this tidbit could be of use for the iguana's at the Iguana Bar?)

Whatever happened to...Devo?

2005-10-28T15:03:00.000+10:00

It was about a nightclub in Vegas, in the seedy area, run by a guy who always wanted to be a nightclub singer, but he was terrible. So instead he just bought a nightclub. And the club would close for the night after he sang because the whole crowd would leave at that point. The big draw was a half-woman, half-cat who had something like Tourette Syndrome and would act in a feral manner when she got angry or jealous. (via Cardhouse...)

2005-10-26T22:48:00.000+10:00

alBi's Mondrian

myData = myMondrian

2005-10-26T22:42:00.000+10:00

Where a human is reduced to data,
data is converted to values,
values are transformed into art
(Seriously the coolest thing I've seen in a while alBi)

Store Wars

2005-10-26T22:28:00.000+10:00

Strong is he in the ways of the farm (Grocery Gold alBi)

2005-10-24T21:06:00.000+10:00

biz card from gaping void

The Optimism of Uncertainty

2005-10-24T11:52:00.000+10:00

If we remember those times and places--and there are so many--where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory. Howard Zinn

Extreme Origami

2005-10-24T11:25:00.000+10:00

Dr. Lang was born in Ohio and raised in Atlanta, Georgia. After a successful career as a physicist and engineer, during which he authored or co-authored over 80 technical publications and 40 patents on semiconductor lasers, optics, and integrated optoelectronics, he is now a full-time origami artist. (Seriously amazing gallery...alBi)

Langenscheidts Konversationsbuch

2005-10-24T10:58:00.000+10:00

"This is a very strange blend of crime and satire heavily spiced with sex." Now I just need to find some Germans to practice on (alBi)

2005-10-21T12:41:00.000+10:00

The Loo at the Sofitel Queenstown NZ - (Thanks Denee)

Grover is Bitter

2005-10-21T12:12:00.000+10:00

What many of us didn't see behind that brave exterior was a monster cowering in the face of his own insecurities, a monster so unsure of himself he wouldn't even watch his own performances, and a monster who ultimately allowed his own weaknesses to overcome him and nearly ruin his career. A genius, a tyrant, a womanizer or just a washed-up drunk? It's time to expose Grover- the monster behind the myth. Come on we all knew it deep down inside - alBi

2005-10-21T11:48:00.000+10:00

My, my, my music hits me so hard Makes me say "Oh my Lord" Thank you for blessing me With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet

When you need like...a hole in the head

2005-10-21T11:39:00.000+10:00

I have come to the frustrating conclusion that the trepanation has had no lasting effect. (I'm at a loss for words over this one batman...feel free to contribute some...alBi)

Thought For the Day

2005-10-21T10:50:00.000+10:00

If the world that we are forced to accept is false and nothing is true, then everything is possible.

Why you should never swallow bubble gum

2005-10-20T14:39:00.000+10:00

"WELL HOLY BUGGERY DUCKNUTS, BATMAN! That made my eyes water and my skull expand. Option number one is officially discarded, along with a healthy strip of my taint. Where do we go from here?" (From Neski)

Unconscious Jocularity

2005-10-20T12:17:00.000+10:00

"A favorite definition of joking has long been the ability to find similarity between dissimilar things" Sigmund Freud - who apparently gave some serious thought to humour and the unconscious...
"Although the joke work is an excellent method of getting pleasure out of psychical processes, it is nevertheless evident that not everyone is equally capable of making use of that method"...Duh (alBi)

Magic carpet - Sing It! + 3 different Ideas

2005-10-20T11:24:00.000+10:00

Well, you don't know what we can find
Why don't you come with me little girl
On a magic carpet ride
Well, you don't know what we can see
Why don't you tell your dreams to me
Fantasy will set you free
Close your eyes girlLook inside girl
Let the sound take you away
(Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride 1968)

Wake Up!

2005-10-20T11:16:00.000+10:00

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
-- Carl Jung

Save Mouse!

2005-10-19T13:38:00.000+10:00

Mows is a gud boy! Yis! - Another gem from Snarky

The Banterist

2005-10-19T10:44:00.000+10:00

We all make mistakes - Some Gold for the ebay addicts amongst us...oh and the site is well worth a squiz - scroll down to the comments for the link (Thanks Neski)

Thought for the Day

2005-10-18T15:24:00.000+10:00

What if? The Hokey Pokey is really what its all about...

2005-10-18T15:11:00.000+10:00